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Happy Thanksgiving (two days late) November 29, 2008

Posted by skedaddle in Uncategorized.
1 comment so far

Three things that I do the most:
1) Waste time.
2) Play racquetball.
3) Think.

There’s so many things to think about.
I’ve been thinking about the army lately. Actually, more like the military in general. There’s so many different perspectives towards it. I mean, some people really revere and respect people in the military. And why shouldn’t you? They’re disciplined and willing to give their lives for the good of our country. But some people don’t look at them that way. It makes you wonder if they know something you don’t. Every time I see an advertisement or commercial about the army, it’s the same- it’s always showing people working together and working hard, making the army look like some glorious thing. It bothers me. War is not glorious. War is sleeping in the dirt, going to the bathroom in trenches, and seeing people die. There is nothing glorious about that.
Don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against the military. I have actually considered joining a couple times. But then I think about why I would want to, and my reasons always seem fallible. It’s a great option for anyone who isn’t satisfied with the way their lives are going. It definitely gives someone a purpose. But what is that purpose?
There’s a board game I used to play with my family on the weekends. It’s called Risk. It’s a game of strategy- the purpose of the game is to beat all the other armies until your army takes over the world. It’s a fun game, but sometimes I wonder if that’s how it is in real life. It’s as if war is just a game of strategy and all the soldiers are just pieces you use to win. At first my dad always won, but then later I started to win all the time. I figured out the key to winning at war- you make sacrifices. You sacrifice the smaller, weaker army so that you can build up your other ones. That’s the only way to win. And it’s all fine and dandy when your sacrifices are made of plastic, but what if they were real people? Looking at the big picture would make you believe that you have to lose some to gain some, but imagine if the soldiers knew they were just part of the game. Imagine if you were the sacrifice. You probably wouldn’t be feeling so patriotic anymore.
I watched the news today. People get so numb to the horrors of reality when they constantly are exposed to it, but for someone whodoesn’t have a TV and is shielded from the outside world for months at a time, the news can be a shock. There were 190 American and British tourists and business people killed in India by terrorists this past week. The terrorists put a bomb in some hotels I think. In other places they went through the hotels with guns and asked to see peoples’ passports. If the person was American or British, they were shot.
My dad was in India this past summer, living out of hotels.

Of course, America found out and sent troops to India and shot all the terrorists. It’s all so pointless. Reacting to killing with more killing doesn’t change the fact that 190 innocent people are dead.

Where is the justice in that?


Flustered. November 26, 2008

Posted by skedaddle in Uncategorized.
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I’ve been sleeping a lot lately.
Consequently, I’ve been having a lot of nightmares.

I didn’t think I was afraid of dying, but in my dreams, death is impending, and I’m terrified.
I guess it’s because I’m so scared that I will die before I get to make my life worthwhile. That’s a pretty scary possibility. Very realistic. Just like my nightmares.

This morning I had to go talk to my TA for one of my classes about a paper I wrote. I was anxious about this meeting because it seems unusual to have to meet with your TA to chat about something.
Turns out, to my complete dismay, I was in trouble for plagiarizing. Scholastic dishonesty is treated with severe consequences, usually meaning that you fail the class you plagiarized in and then get expelled from the university. So, naturally, my heart stopped when my TA uttered the word.
I didn’t understand how I could be in trouble for cheating. For one, I can’t cheat without feeling a significant amount of guilt. I have cheated on things before, not gonna lie (high school is too easy) but it was never on something so important, and even then, I was careful to never leave any evidence behind. In this case, I wasn’t careful because I wasn’t even aware I was cheating. I cited my sources, but because I didn’t use quotations (even though we weren’t supposed to) and summarized things a little too close to the original words, he gave me an F.
My TA said that because I’m a first semester freshman, he and my professor decided to be more lenient. So he’s not going to expel me. He also gave me the chance to redo the paper, which is good, because otherwise I would have failed the class (this paper has a pretty significant weight on my average). I left his office, clutching my paper in my hand, in a complete daze of what had happened and what could have happened.
Me? Get in trouble for plagiarism?
And all this time I considered writing my only strong point. Apparently now I even suck at that.

The whole event was very depressing. It didn’t help that everyone and their mom went home today so I am essentially the only one in the dorm (actually, I think the janitors might be here still… but I could be wrong). I walked around looking for a place that was still open so that I could eat dinner and realized I was walking in a ghost town. Ihave never seen Austin so empty.
Every time I try to make a to-do list of all the things I need to do before Monday, I get overwhelmed. There is so much to do and so little motivation. I wish I didn’t get discouraged so easily.

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving. I have so much to be thankful for. I wish I wasn’t so pessimistic towards my blessings.
I wish a lot of things.

The next two weeks are going to be harder than anything thus far. I have four tests in three days.
God help me.

Mildly amusing. November 12, 2008

Posted by skedaddle in Uncategorized.

Jim Rome’s opinion on Aggies:

“They won’t shut up. They have to go on about spirit, and old army, and red ass, and how bonfire represents the burning sensation they have in their urine to beat UT, and blah blah blah. Shut up. You start to get the feeling the entire school was built to spite UT. Forget the fact that when the Texas Legislature back in the 1870’s passed legislation to start a state university, they also decided to have a subsidiary branch of the main school that would teach agriculture and mechanics. Aggies love to say their school is older, from where they get that I don’t know…the fact is, the State intended A&M to be a branch of UT. Apparently they must devote their entire school to trying to prove to UT that they are just as good. All the while, nobody at UT denies that A&M is a good school, yet they won’t shut up. So they write a fight song… about…Texas, and how they want to beat them. They have a Fish Camp for freshman where they tell them how bad Texas is and how good A&M and all its traditions are.

“t.u.” is not funny. It is not insulting. It is dumb. Just imagine if folks from Texas kept talking about M&A and giggling. That would not be funny. In fact, it would be retarded. That’s why UT fans don’t do it. Please learn.

We all respect West Point, Annapolis, The Air Force Academy; however, nobody respects the Corp. I imagine they are kind of the laughing stock of the military world. Just because you dress like the Army, and try and act like the Army, does not make you the Army.

You want to lose the image of country bumpkins, of a people fond of sheep, of people that aren’t stupid? Then quit building things that fall down. Quit chasing cheerleaders around with swords on national TV. Quit whooping in church. Quit whooping period. Quit putting up scoreboards for the enjoyment of dead mammals. Quit spending your Friday nights practicing how to yell. Quit telling rape jokes to reporters when you’re running for governor.

Go to East Texas, tour every small town, and ask every red neck with a 5th grade education why they cheer for A&M and wear maroon. That is their fan base. This is why they are perceived by the educated masses as stupid.

College Station is an arm-pit of a town. Quit pretending that it is a great college town. It is a town and there is a college there. That should be the end of this comparison. If you feel that life doesn’t get any better than the Dixie Chicken, and enjoy being stuck in a never ending “Dukes of Hazard” episode, then move there. More importantly, don’t move to Austin…they are trying to create an educated, technological, and open minded population base. Austin is, and will continue to be, the birthplace and final resting place of all that is cool.”

Numbers November 4, 2008

Posted by skedaddle in Uncategorized.

Ten things you wish you could say to 10 different people right now (don’t list names):

1. My first impression of you was not exactly fantastic, but in hindsight I find it comical. I am so lucky. Sure, we all have our flaws, but yours are hardly noticeable compared to what I could have had. Thanks for being so cool about stuff, I really appreciate it.

2. I was hoping we’d be closer when we got to college, but at least we haven’t regressed too badly. It’s hard since we don’t exactly live near each other, but I still enjoy any time spent with you and hope that next year we can be even closer, physically and emotionally.

3. I don’t think you ever knew, but I used to talk about you all the time. Everything reminded me of you. I tried to see you whenever possible. Please know that just because we aren’t as close anymore doesn’t mean I have forgotten all that. I still value our friendship and hope that someday I can bring back what we once had.

4. I’m sorry that things got pushed to this point. I really am. But they did, and here we are. Please stop waiting around for me because you’re just wasting your time.

5. Sometimes it bothers me that I am always there for you and yet you still don’t view our friendship as a close one. I don’t understand why you’re so against living with me next year but I respect your wants and needs and have found other future living arrangements. I feel like I know you better than anyone (and possibly visa versa) but we continue to dance around each other for unknown reasons. What do I have to do to make you treat me as your best friend?

6. Funny how you were one of the first people I met in college and thought was very upfront, and now I spend more time with you than anyone else. I really enjoy our time together. I’ve never had a friend with a personality like yours. It’s a whole new ball game for me… And an entertaining one, at that. Thanks for making me laugh until my sides hurt, you crazy whore.

7. I think it’s super cool that despite the fact that we’re not living as close anymore, it hasn’t damaged our friendship. The rivalry will always be there, but the sisterly love will be right beside it.

8. You’re fucking retarded. Grow up and stop screwing with my friends’ lives.

9. I love you to death but I wish you would stand up for yourself. You shouldn’t take that kind of shit from anyone, even me, because you shouldn’t have to. I know one day you’ll get sick of it and do something about it, I just hope that it won’t be too late by then.

10. I don’t know where our relationship is going, but I trust you to guide us in the right direction. Just remember that I support your decision no matter what, and I’m always here for you.

Nine things about yourself:

1. I have a weird sense of humor.

2. I’m late to everything.

3. I’m not a rebel, but I refuse to follow the norm.

4. I have commitment issues.

5. I don’t have to like you to respect you.

6. I am really competitive with people I don’t know.

7. I over-analyze everything, but I am also quite spontaneous. No, it doesn’t make sense. Story of my life.

8. I can be very passionate about the things I care about.

9. I love meeting new people.

Eight ways to win your heart:

1. Don’t be too formal.

2. Respect me without being “below” me.

3. Tell me your honest opinion.

4. Don’t be afraid to argue with me.

5. Sing, whether you think you have the ability or not.

6. Make the first move.

7. Take risks.

8. Have confidence in yourself.

Seven things that cross your mind a lot:

1. I’m tired.

2. I should be doing something productive.

3. I feel like playing racquetball.

4. What should I eat?

5. They weren’t kidding when they said college kids were poor.

6. I should walk but I’d rather take the bus.

7. I miss you.

Six things you wish you never did:

1. Sign up for classes so close together.

2. Screw up my grades so early in the semester.

3. Neglect my most cherished friendships.

4. Thrown away my leftovers.

5. Spent wayyy too much money on stupid crap.

6. Regret in general- Everything happens for a reason.

Five turn offs in a guy/girl:

1. Low self esteem

2. Being overly dramatic

3. Not having an open mind

4. Lacking a sense of humor

5. Taking themselves too seriously

Four turn ons in a guy/girl:

1. Dimples!

2. Pleasant smell

3. Laid back attitude

4. Good sense of humor

Three careers you would consider:

1. Doctor in Emergency Medicine

2. Oncologist

3. Rock band! (Runner Up, anyone?)

Two things you want before you die:

1. Get into med school.

2. Save someone’s life.

One confession:

1. I constantly freak out because I’m afraid I’m not good enough.

So I voted today.
Go me.
It’ll be interesting to see how this election turns out.